Better Relationships - Lesson # 3
The 4 Main Personality Styles

Wouldn't it be amazing if you could read someone else's mind? You would be able to really understand what that person is saying, what he or she is motivated by, and how to communicate more clearly with that person. While we cannot turn you into a mind reader, we can give you a practical way to identify the personality styles of others. When you know a person's main personality style, you will be able to put yourself into his or her "shoes." You will be able to better connect with who he or she is and how he or she is wired. In other words, you will be able to better understand that person. So, let's get started ...

You will recall that in Lesson #2, we introduced the idea that people can be observed as having 4 main personality styles. Refer to the diagram below.

Notice that there are words in bold letters around the circle which represent different behavior patterns: OUTGOING, RESERVED, TASK-ORIENTED, and PEOPLE-ORIENTED. Sometimes people are OUTGOING and sometimes they are RESERVED in their behavior. Sometimes people are TASK-ORIENTED, and sometimes they are PEOPLE-ORIENTED. The four personality types are like four parts of a pie. Also, you can see the letters "D", "I", "S" and "C" in each of the 4 sections of the pie. We can describe the basic behavior of the four personality types using words that begin with "D", "I", "S" and "C." In fact, we refer to this model of human behavior as the "DISC Model." Some of the words which describe each personality type are listed in the diagram above.

To summarize the DISC Model of Human Behavior (in clockwise order) :

D stands for the DOMINANT Type which is OUTGOING and TASK-ORIENTED.

I stands for the INSPIRING Type which is OUTGOING and PEOPLE-ORIENTED.

S stands for the SUPPORTIVE Type which is RESERVED and PEOPLE-ORIENTED.

C stands for the CAUTIOUS Type which is RESERVED and TASK-ORIENTED.

 

Think about it ... If you expect a naturally RESERVED person to act in an OUTGOING way, you may wonder why that person seems so hesitant. If you expect an extremely TASK-ORIENTED person to be very PEOPLE-ORIENTED, you may be in for a little disappointment. Of course, people can adjust and grow in terms of their behavior, and everyone is a mixture of all four personality styles. However, my point is that recognizing other people's normal behavior patterns allows you to adjust your own expectations when relating to them. You will also find that recognizing other people's normal behavior patterns allows you to adapt your own behavior to better meet their NEEDS.

Discovery: 
You can adapt the way you RELATE to better
meet the NEEDS of OTHERS.

Many books have been written on the topic of relationships. One common theme seems to emerge from all of them - you cannot control someone else, but you can control yourself! Here is some great news: by understanding and applying the Model of Human Behavior, you can adapt the way you relate and genuinely have a better connection with other people. All you need to do in order to have a BETTER RELATIONSHIP with a person is relate to that person in a way that makes them comfortable.

Now let's break down each of the four personality styles one by one, so that you can develop even better understanding.

The Dominant (D) Type:
Words to Describe	Dominant, Direct, Demanding, Decisive, Determined, Doer
Their Mind-set	Get it done!  Make it happen!  Play to win!   Results!
Their Likes	Activities, Competition, Hard work, Doing things, Challenges, Getting results, Being in charge, Accomplishing tasks
They Are	Goal-oriented, Hard to please, Self-confident, Firm, Industrious, Performance conscious
Motivated by	Challenge, Choices, Control
Environment Needs	Freedom, Authority, Varied activities, Opportunities for advancement
Communication Style	Straightforward communication
Blind spots	Being sensitive to people, being able to relax, patience

 

The Inspiring (I) Type:
Words to Describe	Inspiring, Influencing, Important, Interactive, Impressive, Interested in people
Their Mind-set	To be the star of the show ... fun and excitement!
Their Likes	Exposure to people, Short-term projects, Making people laugh, Doing things, Lots of activities, To be on the go, Talking with people, Prestige, To be important
They Are	Talkative, Great starters, Likeable, Prone to exaggerate, Easily excitable, Fun to watch
Motivated by	Recognition, Approval, Popularity
Environment Needs	Prestige, Friendly relationships, Opportunities to influence others, Opportunities to inspire others, Chances to verbalize ideas
Communication Style	Friendly and informal communication
Blind spots	Time management, Being unrealistic, Listening to others, Completion of tasks

 

The Supportive (S) Type:
Words to Describe	Supportive, Steady, Stable, Sweet, Sensitive, Sentimental
Their Mind-set	Neutral. Let's all get along with each other!  No conflict.
Their Likes	Peace, an even pace, Harmony, Reassurance, Friendly groups, Teamwork, Helping others, Cooperation
They Are	Team-oriented, Friendly, Cooperative, Loyal friends, Sensitive to others' needs, Understanding, Accepting
Motivated by	Security, Appreciation, Assurance
Environment Needs	An area of specialization, Identification with a group, Established work pattern, Stability of situation, Consistent environment
Communication Style	Warm, Open, Sincere communication
Blind spots	Dealing with change, Being able to say, "No!", Acting independently

 

The Cautious (C) Type:
Words to Describe	Cautious, Calculating, Competent, Consistent, Contemplative, Careful
Their Mind-set	Let's do things right and with excellence. What is the plan?  Have you thought things through?  What is the purpose behind this? Why?
Their Likes	Consistency, Excellent work, Being accurate, Information/Data, Value, Quality, Getting things right, Having a plan, Procedure, Honesty
They Are	Procedure-oriented, Dedicated to the task, Focused on the details, Logical, Accurate, Respectful
Motivated by	Quality answers, Excellence, Value
Environment Needs	Clearly defined tasks, Sufficient time and resources to accomplish tasks, Freedom to ask questions, Limited risks, Assignments that require planning and precision
Communication Style	Logical, precise and detailed communication
Blind spots	Over-analyzing, Ability to meet deadlines, Perfectionism, The need to express feelings, The importance of the feelings of others

That is the summary of the 4 personality styles. Now let's apply this information in Growth Sheet #3.

 

Here is what I want you to do next... answer the questions below. Again, refer back to the list of names that you used in the Growth Sheets of lessons #1 and #2. This should take about 5 minutes.

Click here to Print These Pages

 

Better Relationships:    Growth Sheet # 3

1.   Write your name in the blank below. Next, refer to the previous charts and fill in the information for your motivation, communication style, environment needs and blind spots. Use Growth Sheet #2 and the information in this lesson to identify YOUR personality style..

Your name: ________________________________________  Your Style : _______________________

I am motivated by:  ____________________________________________________________________

My environment needs are: _____________________________________________________________

My communication style is: _____________________________________________________________

One blind spot in myself that I can work on is: ______________________________________________________________________________________

2.  Refer back to the 3 people that you listed in Growth Sheet # 1. Write the names of those three people below. Continue the exercise just like you did in question #1. Click here to refer back to lesson #1. Click here to refer back to lesson #2.

Person #1: ___________________________________________ Their Style : ____________________

Is motivated by:  ______________________________________________________________________________________

Has these environment needs: ______________________________________________________________________________________

Has a communication style which is: ______________________________________________________________________________________

One of his or her blind spots that I can be more understanding of is: ______________________________________________________________________________________

Person #2: ____________________________________________Their Style : ____________________

Is motivated by:  ______________________________________________________________________________________

Has these environment needs: ______________________________________________________________________________________

Has a communication style which is: ______________________________________________________________________________________

One of his or her blind spots that I can be more understanding of is: ______________________________________________________________________________________

Person #3: ____________________________________________Their Style : ____________________

Is motivated by:  ______________________________________________________________________________________

Has these environment needs: ______________________________________________________________________________________

Has a communication style which is: ______________________________________________________________________________________

One of his or her blind spots that I can be more understanding of is: ______________________________________________________________________________________

3    Finally, refer back to the name of the person you wrote down in Growth Sheet #1 in the previous lesson with whom you feel like you have a difficult relationship.  Write this person's name in below. Continue the exercise just like you did in question #1 for yourself.

Person #4: ____________________________________________Their Style : ____________________

Is motivated by:  ______________________________________________________________________________________

Has these environment needs: ______________________________________________________________________________________

Has a communication style which is: ______________________________________________________________________________________

One of his or her blind spots that I can be more understanding of is: ______________________________________________________________________________________

In the last lesson (Lesson #4), we will look at how YOU CAN ADJUST your own style to the 4 main personality styles. Only one more lesson to go!  Lesson #4 will show you about your strengths, struggles and strategies in working with other people. I'm excited about your progress in developing BETTER RELATIONSHIPS! 

Until next time,

Robert A. Rohm, Ph.D.

P.S. If you have finished the worksheet above and want to move on to lesson #4 - "Adapting to Others", click here.
If you would like to refer back to lesson #1 - "Are you Aware" click here.
If you would like to refer back to lesson #2 - "I See!" click here.