Better Relationships - Lesson # 4
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The
Dominant (D) Type's "Guide to Better Relationships": |
|
Relating
with someone who is primarily: |
Strengths, Struggles and Strategies of Your Relationship |
Dominant
(D) |
Strengths: Your mutual goals, admiration,
and the desire to get results can be very positive and affirming. |
Inspiring
(I) |
Strengths: Both
of you are fast paced. This person may desire
to please you and follow your leadership. |
Supportive
(S) |
Strengths: You
like to lead, and this personality type likes to follow
and help. A supportive person
will feel secure as long as you show controlled, stable
behavior. |
Cautious
(C) |
Strengths: Both
of you focus on tasks and enjoy working independently. With
this person's attention to detail, you can accomplish a
lot together. Struggles: You tend to move quickly, whereas this person likes to think things through. Your focus is to get things done now, and his or her focus is to get things done right. Your desire to control things may discourage a cautious person, because this person does not like to feel pressured. Strategies: Do not rush or push this person. Do not criticize a cautious person. Be patient, and give him or her time to make decisions. Be willing to answer this person's questions and provide information in a polite manner. Do not expect this person to be a risk-taker like you. |
Remember:
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The
Inspiring (I) Type's "Guide to Better Relationships": |
|
Relating
with someone who is primarily: |
Strengths,
Struggles and Strategies of Your Relationship |
Dominant
(D) |
Strengths: You
both are outgoing and activity-driven. Both of you
like to win. You may admire the strengths and achievements
of this person. |
Inspiring
(I) |
Strengths: Both
of you live enthusiastically and enjoy being with people.
You both like to have fun and tend to forgive easily. |
Supportive
(S) |
Strengths: Both
of you are people-oriented. You like to talk and the other
person likes to listen. You tend to get along very well. Struggles: Most struggles are related to pace. You like things fast-paced, exciting, spontaneous and with high energy. The other person likes things to be more calm, quiet and predictable. Strategies: Slow down your approach. Tone down your enthusiasm. Be sincere with praise and appreciation. Do not embarrass this person in public. Allow this person time to warm up and open up to you. |
Cautious
(C) |
Strengths: Your
opposite strengths provide a good balance to each other's weaknesses.
You can learn from the other person's analytical nature, and
this person can learn not to take things so seriously and
to have more fun. Struggles: Your differences can lead to misunderstandings. You love to talk and be on the go, but the other person likes time alone. You are much more verbal, and it is easy for you to miss the other person's more indirect way of sharing concerns. Strategies: Tone down your emotional reactions. Be more factual and objective, especially in the face of conflict. Do not rush or push this person. Be specific in your communication, and expect this person to speak literally and to take things literally. |
Remember: Listening is important! Tasks must be completed. Stay focused! |
The
Supportive (S) Type's " Guide to Better Relationships": |
|
Relating
with someone who is primarily: |
Strengths,
Struggles and Strategies of Your Relationship |
Dominant
(D) |
Strengths: You
are a good supporter and encourager for this driven
person who seeks to achieve and exert leadership. |
Inspiring
(I) |
Strengths: You
tend to get along well, because you are both people-oriented.
You both provide praise and appreciation to each other which
you both need to feel good about yourselves. |
Supportive
(S) |
Strengths: You
have a lot in common and enjoy being with each other. Both
of you like a relaxed, personal atmosphere. Struggles: The main struggle is in the area of communication. You both talk indirectly and do not insist on your own way. Neither of you like to make hard decisions. Neither of you like conflict or tension, so you avoid bringing up unpleasant issues. Strategies: Be willing to take more initiative and to be more decisive. Realize that some conflict and change is healthy. Draw out how the other person feels, and be willing to honestly share how you feel. Do not hide hurt feelings. Get issues and feelings out on the table and discuss them. |
Cautious
(C) |
Strengths: Both
of you are slower paced. Neither of you is pushy, and you both
prefer to avoid conflict. You can enjoy being together without
a lot of conversation. Struggles: You tend to be sensitive while the other person has a tendency towards being critical. Your feelings-oriented nature can clash with the other person's logic-oriented nature. You want warm relationships, but the other person can seem more cold and impersonal to you. Strategies: Do not take this person's questioning, critical nature personally. This person likes to think deeply and analyze everything. Be willing to give in-depth answers. Do not push this person into closeness. Realize that this person is more task-oriented than people-oriented, so he or she may not be as warm or sensitive as you are. |
Remember: It is alright to say, "No." Trust your own judgment. Be more confident. |
The
Cautious (C) Type's |
|
Relating
with someone who is primarily: |
Strengths,
Struggles and Strategies of Your Relationship |
Dominant
(D) |
Strengths: Both
of you share a similar bent toward accomplishing tasks. As
long as you share the same goals, you can be very effective
as a team. |
Inspiring
(I) |
Strengths: Your
strengths balance each other out. You need the other person's
freshness and fun, and the other person needs your
discipline and logic. |
Supportive
(S) |
Strengths: Both
of you like to take things slowly. You both enjoy a low-key
relationship that is free from conflict. Struggles: You may become frustrated when this person does not appear to think things through the way you do or share your enthusiasm for key details. This person is feelings-oriented, so you may come across as cold and impersonal. Strategies: Be aware of your focus on doing tasks correctly versus this person's focus on peace and security in relationships. Be more warm and personal with this person. Be careful not to criticize. Rather, show sincere appreciation for any effort that the other person makes. Do not set your standards too high, or this person may feel inadequate or simply give up. |
Cautious
(C) |
Strengths: Both
of you like to work hard on projects and focus on details and
quality. You both tend to be serious and factual in your conversations. Struggles: There can be trouble when both of you disagree on what is "right." One of you is "right," but the other one is "more right!" Both of you can quickly shut down and withdraw. Both of you tend to wage a war of indirect communication. Strategies: Be open and flexible when this person suggests a different way of doing something. Be very careful with any criticism, because you know that criticism of your own work is one of your own greatest fears. Do not set your standards so high that the other person feels he or she may not be able to reach them. Be specific with words of encouragement. Tell this person exactly what he or she did correctly and why you liked it. |
Remember: People are important. Remember that no one is perfect. Do not overanalyze everything. |
Now let's apply this information in our next Growth Sheet!
Here is what I want you to do next... answer the questions below. Again, refer back to the list of names that you used in the previous Growth Sheets. This should take about 5 minutes.
Click here to Print These Pages
1. Refer back to the 3 people that you listed in the Growth Sheets in the previous lessons. Write the names of those three people below. Next, go to the information section of your own D, I, S, or C "Guide to Better Relationships." Then, list the strengths, struggles and strategies in your relationship with the 3 people that you listed. Refer to the chart, but feel free to use your own words.
Click here to refer back to lesson #1. Click here to refer back to lesson #2. Click here to refer back to lesson #3.
Person #1: _______________________________________________ Their Style: _________________
Strength of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Struggle of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Strategy of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Person #2: _______________________________________________ Their Style: _________________
Strength of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Struggle of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Strategy of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Person #3: _______________________________________________ Their Style: _________________
Strength of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Struggle of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Strategy of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
2 Finally, refer back to the name of the person you wrote down in the previous Growth Sheets with whom you feel like you have a difficult relationship. Write that name below. Continue the exercise just like you did with the 3 people above.
Person #4: _______________________________________________ Their Style: _________________
Strength of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Struggle of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Strategy of your relationship: ______________________________________________________________________________________
Congratulations!! You have completed the 4-part course on BETTER RELATIONSHIPS. I hope that you are excited about applying what you have learned so far!
Highlights to Remember:
1)
You cannot Beware of something until you are first Aware of something.
2) People have their own built-in perspective on life.
3) We can adapt our behavior to better meet the needs of others.
4) DISC is a tool to build bridges for communication.
5) A
sincere and genuine desire to connect with someone is the key
to using this information correctly.
You cannot control anyone else, but you can control yourself.
Above all else, remember Rohm's Rule for Personality Styles
- "The
one who knows this information is the one responsible for using
it!"
In other words, you cannot expect someone who does not know
this information to use it. Since you know it, the ball
is in your court. You will be the winner for using this information!
I am excited that you can now use the DISC information to help you enjoy BETTER RELATIONSHIPS! Keep growing!
Sincerely,
Robert
A. Rohm, Ph.D.
P.S.
If
you would like to refer back to lesson #1 - "Are you
Aware" click
here.
If you would like to refer back to lesson #2 - "I See!" click
here.
If you would like to refer back to lesson #3 - "The 4 Main Personality
Styles" click
here
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